THE MOMENT WHEN I FELT I TRULY LIVED
[ past july, i got a good job somewhere far from home and live alone in a rented room, it's a double storey house to be exact and i live at the second floor. my uncle lives there too but am alone upstairs. so i traveled around sabah, went to Ranau a lot. the furthest place was when we needed to go to Lahad Datu for a 3-month course but it was a total failure so we're forced to come back Keningau after 5 days staying alone in a bungalow, there was only both of us, me and a colleague. left alone without proper kitchen supplies and food. however, we managed to survive ourselves since we got mates there who helped a lot. quite an adventure to say the least. i gained a lot of experience, knowledge and skills. i made myself some new friends of different ages. most of them are older. am very thankful and enjoy the moments that i felt i truly lived. it was like a healer for me and am feeling surprisingly better than before. after 2 months staying there, i was told that my uncle had to move in with me cause of some work needed to be done downstairs, another uncle of mine wanted to make it an office for his new business, carwash. i don't really feel comfortable because am worried that they might not like it since i always have problem with my pay rent but all sorted out tho. i cook sometimes and help with the chores. back to my job there, little did i know that it was only for a short period of time. something happened outta the blue and forced me to go back home, family's house. i don't know what to do, going back home feels like going back to the root of hell i was in before. scary cause now am repeating everything i did back then but i don't feel depressed or anything as not wanting to live but sometimes i catch myself wallowing in negative thoughts. i promised myself not to feel the same way again but lately a lot of things scare me. will there be relapse? i thought the job wud help me with my future plan. now i only wish they wud call me back. ]
Will be continued...in 2017.
Hello? Here i am again pretending i have viewers, but yes i have a lot to say, there's a lot to talk about. so many things left unsaid need to be brought back. Mostly about my life, I am a frikin adult now, time passes by very quickly thank God i havent passed away hahahah dark joke lmfao
I am working on it, i ll publish them anytime...for now. chiao
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